I went to a town 3 hours away where a large group of close girlfriends live and had a night out on the town and I really enjoyed it.
Leading up to my day was hard, I had no idea how i was going to manage without my love. I bought myself a new bedset and made "our" room inviting to curl up with a book on a hard day.
The night before my birthday my "papa in law" if you will, my sons great great grandfather passed away at 96 years old, true papa lived a long life and its nice to see him not suffering, we were all prepared for this and its much easier to embrace a long lived full life especially after we had just experienced such a tragic loss in my young family.
I would also like to take the time right now to remember an old dear friend Cody. Cody was an ex boyfriend of mine and despite that at that time our large group of friends was super close and we remained friends. Cody tragically passed in 2007 leaving his beautiful daughter who was about a year and a half old at the time. Most everyone got a chance to say goodbye to Cody and his wonderful family kept him on life support to be an organ donor. There was about 30+ people at the hospital that night and morning all sharing their love. He passed away on October 5th 2007. My birthday.
I didnt celebrate that year, and felt guilty in subsequent years and this year was no exception. Torn between closing my blinds and shutting off the phones I went out dancing. I had a drink for papa, one for Cody and one for Brad but most of all i had one for me. I am here. I am living. I can laugh and dance and drink and have fun, even if it means crying in the car on the way, and closing out the world the next day (with no reflection of any hangover)
So remember as your "firsts" aproach how can you take the time on those days to genuinly enjoy yourself but also love and remember your loved one and yourself
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